A relationship is any time two entities come together. It can last a short or long time. It can be “seemingly” beneficial or non-beneficial. It has nothing to do with the type of relationship. It can be a married couple, two friends, a human and a cat, a human and an alien, etc.
Relationships are agreements. But the problem is that these agreements are usually either unknown or unspoken, thus creating undue friction and chaos in a relationship. It would be better to think of a relationship as a training or growth experience between two people, rather than a perfect companionship “until death do we part.” The agreement says, for example, “I will do this for you and you will do that for me.” I will love and support you and you will love and support me. But wait a minute! What does support mean? What does love mean? And could we possibly have different ways of showing it? We are all different after all, aren't we?
If you are not aware of your agreements it will challenge any relationship and you will probably feel unsupported due to your own ignorance. Remember, relationships are trainings or growth opportunities. Sorry if this sounds unromantic. But it is important to know what you are “trying” to teaching your partner and what they are “trying” to teach you and to realize this is an agreement. The more open you are about your agreements the better, because any unclaimed teachings will either be portrayed as proselytizing or expectations, depending on which side of the fence you are standing. And both of these are dehumanizing.
Until you decide and agree upon your lessons, you will be like two blind people walking in the night crashing into each other. Notice if you think you are teaching your partner more than you are learning from them. This is a dead give-away that you feel you are giving more than receiving in the relationship. This is untrue. It simply means that you need to become more aware of your partners “offerings.” People always match each other energetically. And when they don’t is when they will effortlessly go their own way. Like attracts like and there are many variations of the puzzle which comprise the completion of two people. As soon as one grows or changes more than the other the puzzle pieces will no longer match and two people will no longer be able to be in the same space physically or on any level. This is the energetic law of attraction. What this means is that as long as you are together, there is something more to learn and reflect back to each other.
Decide if your teachings have a dead-line. In other words, must your partner finish learning something by a set time? These are your expectations and it is only fair that you share them with your partner so that they may be a part of the equation. Will there be continuous lessons or are you looking for a smooth ride? If you have expectations about when and where you are headed, they must be expressed and then agreed upon if you are to be on a smooth path with your partner. This structure may seem cold to you. But without structure, there is no easy flow. The yin and yang, male and female must work together in a balanced way in order to function. This is the basis of creating a conscious relationship.
When you are finished learning and teaching one thing from your friend or partner, you must decide if you will re-new the “contract.” In other words, are you able to continue together in a peaceful environment or would you prefer a growth challenge and seek more to learn? Unfortunately, this is usually determined for you unconsciously based on your “wiring,” genetics, history, past lives, fears, joys, intentions, etc. When you become aware that you have a choice and verbalize your desires to yourself and your partner, you have begun a conscious relationship. Choice always leads to greater freedom, certainty and happiness.
What does your partner want you to learn and what do you want them to learn? Have this discussion with your partner or friend and watch your relationship rise to new levels of happiness. As always, the most important relationship that you have is with you, yourself and God/Source. Make this your priority and everything else will flow.
Side note:
The four main points that I am learning in my current relationship are to be more technologically advanced, to claim and calm my emotions, to let go of fear and to be more loving and forgiving. I am teaching my partner to become more present and conscious, to read and heal energy, to respect his house and belongings and to have good boundaries. It’s a win-win situation when you let it be. And if you look carefully you will see that although I have mentioned four different teachings per individual, they are all really the same things just expressed differently. Such as, fear in life and letting go also applies to fear of technology and letting go of old ways to bring in the new. In order to learn new technology I must be forgiving of myself when I make mistakes and loving in the process.