I’m tired of not being who I want to be
I’m tired of forgiving and not forgiving
I’m tired of wanting to be someone else, I’m fine the way I am
I’m tired of how ignorant and unconscious most people are
I’m tired of guilt that destroys life
I’m tired of making excuses for others
I’m tired of giving and not receiving
I’m tired of my weak ass boundaries and of being pushed around
In this “New Age” people have gone to the opposite extreme of their parents in past generations. People went from beating their children to an absolute lack of discipline and being ostracized for touching a child. This has led to some of the most disrespectful and spoiled children of all time. Balance is what we need. Not putting children in their place and being “nice” will not help them one bit. This niceness that we see in many people comes from shear guilt. It is not love. They are trying to buy their children because they feel they are not good enough parents.
In horse training, if you have an unruly and dangerous horse you must put them in their place and be the dominant (Alpha) horse immediately. Even if this means hitting them once very hard or until they become respectful. Otherwise, you will have an unhappy and dangerous situation on your hands, which could mean your grave. Of course, you must understand the language of equus in order to know when horses are being rude. Though, sometimes their disrespectful gestures are obvious even to the lay person. It’s like when a child says, “I’m sorry” with a winy tone that signifies that they are not actually sorry. You must read between the lines and find the truth within all species.
In the world of horses there is a pecking order and you are either on the top or you are not. If you are not, your horse will take advantage of you. This pecking order is natural for the survival of the herd. The smartest and most capable horse must be able to rule and lead the heard to safety. Horses constantly assess and test those around them, including their people. And they don’t know that you don’t know this. In other words, you may never let down your guard because as soon as you do, they will rise to top place. This is dangerous with a beast as large as a horse with teeth and hard hooves. Fighting for the top has nothing to do with being nice or mean. This is where people do not understand horses and try to use their own failing standards of equality and niceness which will not work. Being nice is not something that horses or people truly understand. We can only be nice by being loving to ourselves. Only then can we give to others via our own positive stream of energy.
The same is true for children. Despite common knowledge, there is also a hierarchy with people, and your children, like horses, will always test you. They will test you until they can trust that you actually are their strong, protective and benevolent leader. That’s what parents are for. They are there to ensure the survival of their offspring. Love, as it were, does not always mean giving your children whatever they want. Love means care, health, protection, both for our children and ourselves at all costs. If you do not care for your child by reprimanding your child in the appropriate way, they will not learn to respect you, others or even themselves. Eventually, he or she will grow up and become too large to punish. Then when you try to punish them, they will attack you just like a horse, disrespecting your wishes and possibly becoming dangerous to themselves and others. Now it is way too late! You must gain this respect when they are young.
And so you might ask what and how much is the appropriate amount to punish a child? The amount does not depend on what is appropriate by given social standards. Social standards are nil and void. The amount of your punishment depends on the amount of their disrespect. If a child runs into a street when you told them not to, you must reprimand them to the amount that will make them clearly understand that what they did is wrong and for them to never do it again. If you yell at them and they don’t listen, then you must take it to the next level and spank them to make them wake up. The appropriate punishment is whatever is needed for them to wake up. That’s what becoming conscious means; to wake up! The problem is that many parents yell all of the time and then their yelling becomes background elevator music to the ears and nobody hears it anymore. If you yell at a child it must know that you are extremely serious about what you are saying. Otherwise, you have become powerless and you must take it up a notch to the next level.
If you tell your teenager not to do something and they do it anyway, you must assess if you are being too strict and listen to their feelings and thoughts about the situation. If you come to the conclusion after discussing the matter with them and several other people, that your requests are just, you must reprimand your child to the extent that will make them listen. Even if this means becoming physical. If you do it once when they are little, chances are you will never have to do it again. I am not talking about beating anyone.
If a horse does not listen to your leg when you squeeze its belly while riding, it means they have drowned out your weak requests and again, it has become background music. At this point you must give the horse a good whack to make it listen. You must be an Alpha with both horses and with your children. You are not their friends. That is not your role. You must first and foremost be a parent. And when your children respect you, you can be nice to them. It’s a win-win situation.
So often in this New Age we have lost clear boundaries. We do not speak up. And we are overly nice which I call “The Niceness Disease” because it actually does create dis-eases of all types. We must bring back the boundaries. If you are in a relationship and you want to be in the typical female or male role, you must ask for it. Maybe you are a man and you want your woman to cook for you and receive your gifts for her. Maybe you are a female and you want your man to pay for you and open up doors. It doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do for a career, you still have desires and choices and those desires and choices are up to you. If you want to be in an A-typical role you must ask for that as well. No one can know unless you know yourself and are able to express yourself to others. Don’t expect others to know what you want, especially in this crazy day and age of many options.
If you are annoyed at the world, it is probably because you have not asked for what you want. In other words, you are annoyed at yourself. What bothers you? Have you expressed it in a way that will produce results? Or do you just bitch about it and then accept it and expect it? In this modern New Age people are too focused on being nice and positive to the extent of losing their own feelings. Your anger and other emotions are your personal guidance system! You must listen to yourself! It’s important to be positive because whatever you focus on will grow stronger, which is the Law of Attraction. But this does not mean at your own expense or that you should hide from yourself the very things that you like and dislike. You can never attract what you want if you don’t know what you do and don’t want. It’s important to express who you are in a way that will bring change. Did you hear that? It’s important to express your feelings in a way that will create change! It does not matter if it is ugly. Life gets ugly sometimes and we must remain real and not hide from ourselves or life.
Stand up to your children, parents, lovers, bosses, employees and friends. Be your God damn self! This is your life so use it and love it to death. Don’t be afraid of what you might lose, this is a state of poverty and lack. Be in a place of abundance and worth. Don’t waste your time or mine. Be real and clear. Go for what you want. You always deserve it.
The moral of the story is to know yourself and then have good boundaries for yourself and others. This is how you can truly LOVE. And it has nothing to do with being nice or not nice. It has to do with being in your power, being real and being yourself.